Compassionate Change:
The Coaching Blog for Two Rivers Coaching
The Coaching Blog for Two Rivers Coaching
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“I've missed more than 9000 shots in my career. I've lost almost 300 games. 26 times, I've been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. I've failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed.” – Michael Jordan  Taking actions towards our dreams can be really difficult for many reasons. On the surface we have practical and well thought out concerns. But underneath those concerns usually hides 2 emotions: fear and doubt. It’s totally natural to fear taking risks and trying new things – it comes up for everyone. Here’s the not so good news: in order to follow your dreams, you have to being willing to take risks and fail. Failing’s part of learning, growing, and creating a meaningful life. And it’s inevitable that hard stuff’s going to come up and you’re going to fail sometimes. But don’t worry, you will learn from that and it’s all part of the process. In fact, the closer we come to the next level in our lives, to new success, the bigger our fear gets. EXCEPT, it doesn’t always LOOK like fear; it looks like good sense. We calculate costs and benefits, try to find ways to come out ahead, and look good while doing it. But those things can just keep us from taking action. If you go in search of your dreams you will can pretty much count on coming up against your fears. So what will allow you to pull a Michael Jordan and go out on the court and risk it… and then, here’s the key, STAY and keep trying? To get into action you might try actually accepting the fear and learning how to work with it so you can keep showing up to take a shot. Failure is only when you give up, when you walk away. It gets fueled by thoughts like “next year,” “next time,” “others can do this, not me.” If you find a way to keep showing up, as you miss shot after shot, or as you launch some pretty ridiculously looking throws, odds are great that you will: begin to learn, grow, and, most importantly, change what’s possible for you. I challenge you to create a life where you can take more risks and learn to become more comfortable with “missing the shot.” So, how to widen your ability to tolerate missing the shot? To risk not being perfect and to keep showing up? You could try… 
These are just a few thoughts. Perhaps they will spark more for you? I do know this… the more we widen our tolerance for missing the shot, the more we create the ability to live a life in line with our gifts and values. What shot are you willing to take until you make it this week? I celebrate each and every little attempt you make. And I am out there doing it daily. All the Best To You, Jen P.S. Contact me and let me know what topics YOU would like to see in this blog!
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 How’s your sleep? Well, if you’re anything like 65% of the population… you probably didn’t sleep enough last night. Although this is my coaching blog, as a counselor I help folks get better sleep, so I thought I would share some nuggets with you. After all, in order to reach your goals and be at your best you need to have some basics down, and that includes enough quality sleep.
Whether your sleep suffers due to stress, life changes, worries, ___________ (fill in YOUR blank here), here are a few simple things you can do to improve your sleep:
Our sleep needs are individual and sometimes it takes individual solutions to get us back on track. If you would like some coaching around healthy sleep habits, just hit reply to set up a coaching session. All The Best, Jen The holidays are behind us, the light is returning, and the cold slog (perhaps wet if you’re in the Northwest like me) is ahead. I think most folks groan when they think of New Year’s Resolutions. I know I do. But we all want some positive change, don’t we? So, here’s a positive spin on creating new goals.
1) Take a little time to write down all of your accomplishments from 2014. To jog your memory, look through your calendar, ask your spouse or your friends. Click here for a graphic of all areas of your life – you can use it to explore different kinds of wins from the year. In each of the categories, write all the great things you did, all the great things that happened to you, milestones achieved, etc. It’s a wonderful way to tuck in one year and begin another. Once you’ve got that list, you’ve got a great foundation for creating new goals. It’s easy to want change or to want to be better or have things be different, but starting from a place of appreciation of what you’ve done keeps you in a positive mind frame, rather than focusing on what hasn’t worked. 2) As you take stock of the great things from 2014, ask yourself:
3) Take the juiciest one and set a target to reach it by. (Go ahead, take a risk, you can do it.) Then chunk it down into edible, bite-sized pieces. What would be fun to do today? In January? In February? 4) Celebrate every time you achieve a small chunk. Remember to review the larger goal to see if you need to shift the target a little. As you travel towards your goal, you may get new information and feel differently. Make sure you stay flexible with your goal so it remains something you actually want (because you are changing as well.) Send me an email if you get stuck, and you’d like a free strategy session. I wish you a very Happy New Year! Jennifer  Balance, balance, balance… it’s all the rage. “My life’s out of balance”, “I need better balance”. What do these things mean? What do you envision when you picture balance? The first place my mind goes is to an exercise ball. Ever try to bend backwards over one of those puppies and relax, letting your head hang? Well, if you have, you’ll know that tiny muscle movements in the body cause you to be on a constantly self-correcting path, constantly moving fine muscles to maintain your posture. Or there’s that great yoga pose, your standing on one leg, the other neatly tucked against the standing leg… and you’ve got it! You are perfectly still. Balance has arrived! Well…. that is until your thoughts begin to wander or someone in front of you moves and your concentration falters, or you simply get tired. I mean, you can’t stay there forever! Balance isn’t something we achieve. There is no state out there called BALANCE where we live in happy harmony. The way I like to think about it is this: balance is something you are either moving towards or away from. Just like health and happiness. Everything is constantly changing: our emotions, the circumstances of our lives, the people in our lives, and ourselves.
So instead of having an ideal state of BALANCE in mind – “THIS is where I am going to end up” - It might be helpful instead to think: “Alright, am I moving towards balance here? Is what I am doing going to help create more well-being for myself?” I find this takes the pressure off. Now, there isn’t a state of being to achieve, just whether or not you are moving towards more balance. If the demands of work and family are piling up… you might find this helpful. Reframe your idea of balance to a moving target instead. Are you moving towards or away from balance? What will help you move towards it? All the Best, Jen This Blog Post has been picked up by the Fitlanida Blog, a blog by Health and Fitness Coach Christa King. You can check her out and sign up for her blog here: http://fitlandiafitness.com/blog/ Ever notice how easy it is to recall when you haven't done well? It's easy to relive difficult memories. Our brains are wired to focus on the negative. But can you imagine what it would be like to remember your successes and accomplishments just as vividly?
I encourage you to steep yourself daily in your accomplishments and how you helped bring them about. Why? Because the more you focus on what you have accomplished and what great qualities you have, the more confident you will be, the more possible your outlook will feel, and the more creative your mind will become. It will serve you well in all sorts of situations such as:
Here are some ideas to build a strong "What Went Well" muscle. If you make it a daily practice, you will start to notice what's going well naturally.
Like this post? Please share it! And if you are struggling with some goal in your life, find this inspiring, and would like dig deeper, simply hit reply to this email to set up a coaching consultation. All the Best, Jen Does this sound familiar? Your doctor wants you on the anti-inflammatory diet, your physical therapist wants you to try a daily Pilates routine, and you've been planning to start meditating every morning! Of course you want to be healthy, but between work, the kids, and a little fun on the weekends, who has time for it all?
In our busy lives, finding a good work/life balance is an important key to having great health. Here are a few tips from a career coach: 1) Consciously use your strengths at work every day. Studies show that people who "do what they do best every day" have more energy and vitality, and experience less stress. What do you love to do best? What gets you hopping out of bed in the morning? Can you find ways to do more of that at work on a daily basis? It might sound like wishful thinking, but a technique called Job Crafting is helping people restructure their current jobs, so they're doing more of what they love to do (using their strengths), and less of what drains them. Read more in this inspiring Harvard Business Review article. 2) Envision your ideal career and lifestyle. What would it look like to have a terrific work/life balance? Be bold, and get specific. Ask yourself, "What one, small step I can take today to start moving towards my ideal?" If you get stumped, close your eyes and envision that ideal career. Imagine all the details. How does it feel? Then ask yourself, "How exactly did I get here? What steps did I take? Who helped me? What strengths did I employ?" The key is to have a crystal clear vision of what you want, and then start taking action. Small, strategic steps are the best place to start. Go knock it out of the park! 3) Get good at saying NO! A personal mission statement can help. A mission statement is a declaration of your life's purpose, your deepest values and priorities. Once you have this, it's like having a compass out in the woods. It keeps you on your path. It helps you know which opportunities to grab and which to let go. Then you'll have plenty of time to go to the gym and chop that kale! Try this cool mission statement builder at www.FranklinCovey.com. If you'd like to take this to the next level, just hit reply to set up a complimentary coaching consultation. Do you have work/life tips of your own to share? Please add a comment! All the best, Ryan "First you have to jump out of the airplane. You figure out how to fly on the way down." -Tim Hicks, Business Consultant, Engineer, and Creative
OK, I am not advocating jumping out of planes willy nilly. However, you do have to leave your comfort zone to pursue your dreams. And those initial steps outside your comfort zone, no matter how small - well, they can feel like you are jumping out of an airplane. Sure, your comfort zone is secure and cozy, but what's the price you pay for staying there? Unlived dreams: the longing inside to go do that thing you have been trying not to think about... It might be showing your art, it might be getting a job that serves your mission, or it might be creating your own business. What is it for you? What are you not doing because it's scary, and it's easier to just keep doing what you know, hoping things will change? Well, if you have an irresistible dream, but are blocked by fear, great news - there is a way through. You need to learn how to ride the edge of your comfort zone. Here's what I mean by that... staying safely inside your comfort zone you can have a hard time motivating, but if you go too far OUTSIDE your zone, you can become swamped with anxiety. That's what I mean about riding the edge - and everyone's edge and pace is different. Here's how you stay on your edge on learn how to fly, it's all about mind-set and support... Mind-set: 1) One of the most unhelpful and widely common responses to feeling stress or fear is to get down on yourself for having it. But actually, acknowledging and accepting your fear is a necessary part of stepping outside your comfort zone. 2) It's critical to learn how to break your goal down into smaller, doable tasks. This allows you to see small successes accumulating and is a great confidence builder. You most likely can't accomplish your goal all at once, but you can find a way to stay reasonably on your edge and move towards your goal. So don't start with "how to become a professional artist", start with the three tasks in front of you today. Support: It's necessary to have folks on your team who you can talk about your fears with and who support you in moving forward. It's important these folks help you with accountability - you need someone tracking your progress who cares about it. It's all about courage and action. Courage is about learning to fly even when you're scared. I look forward to seeing you thrive, grow, and fly! Best, Jennifer P.S. It's not just Y-O-U! Coaches regularly help clients work with their fears while achieving powerful action. Jaemin Frazier of Frazer Holmes Coaching, offers a mentor program for life coaches. His recent blog post includes quotes from 17 different coaches about how they help their clients work with fear. Check out this post! "If you want something you've never had, you must be willing to do something you've never done." -Thomas Jefferson What's something in your life you want? A new job? A better relationship? More time? For me, today, it's a newsletter! But doing something you've never done means summoning courage. What are 5 things you could do to summon the courage to make that "something new" happen in your life? These could be small. Like, "Journal for 2 minutes during breakfast on how to make a shift," or "Reflect on 3 things I am grateful for before bed." Or they can be large. Like, "Share my resume with 3 colleagues," or "Pitch my idea to someone I admire and get feedback." Small or large, making that list of 5 things will point you in a new direction. Ah yes, secretly there is a shift in here. You go from wanting, to doing. You go from focusing on lack to focusing on moving towards what you want. Looking for some light inspiration? Here's a TED talk about trying something new for 30 days. Want to read this in someone else's words? Forbes is talking about this too, click here.
My challenge to you: Take regular action on one idea this month and post a reply or email me and tell me how it goes! All the Best, Jennifer You know how easy it is to move from one to-do item to the next and before you know it, a week has passed, and then a month, and then a year? You might wonder, how do I stop this cycle of getting things done and start being more creative with my life?
Well, one good place to start is with your WHY: the reason why you get out of bed in the morning, the reason why you do everything you do. I don't mean the more surface reasons: feed the family, pay the bills... I mean something deep down that we don't often pause long enough to acknowledge. Your WHY isn't something you choose and it isn't necessarily shiny and glitzy. But when you connect to it, it is highly motivating. My WHY is to lessen the pain in the world. Yes, I want to help people achieve their goals, be happier, and feel great about themselves. But when I get down deep, that's what's there: to lessen the pain in the world. It has been my MO since I was a kid. And you will also recognize your WHY as something you have known your whole life. So whether you are building a business, making a career move, figuring out the next steps in a project, or trying to reinvigorate your life, knowing your WHY will serve you well. I leave you with two questions: 1) What is your WHY? 2) How could you leverage that to bring motivation and energy to your current challenges? Need inspiration? Watch Simon Sinek's TED talk. Want to get deeper into your WHY? Email me to set up a free coaching consultation. All the Best, Jennifer *This newsletter goes out on the 1st of every month. |
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October 2016
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