Here’s a summary of what the UC Berkley Greater Good Science Center and The Help Guide say will help increase your happiness :
1) Build relationships: Social connections are essential for happiness. Make time for those you are closest to — nurture relationships that feed you.
2) Express Gratitude: People who give thanks and count their blessings on a regular basis are more optimistic and have greater satisfaction with their lives. My favorite exercise for this is What Went Well.
3) Help others: Use your strengths in service of something bigger than yourself. Doing nice things for others, helps us feel good.
4) Give up grudges: When we forgive, we feel better about ourselves, experience more positive emotions, and feel closer to others.
5) Take good care of yourself: Regular exercise increases happiness and self-esteem, reduces anxiety and stress, and can lift some symptoms of depression. Poor sleep is linked to lower happiness, depression, obesity, and diabetes.
6) Pay attention and learn to savor the moment: This is the opposite of moving around frenetically. Learn how to be stay present and enjoy what is happening right now. Psychologist and coach Audrey Berger has a great post on savoring here.
7) Don’t focus on material wealth: After our basic needs our met, research suggests, more money doesn’t bring us more happiness. The science around this keeps changing, but the basic message remains the same: Money doesn't bring happiness in excess.
8) This one's mine: Learn to laugh more even when things are hard. If you can lighten up enough to laugh, you can savor some of the hard stuff too.
6 Habits for cultivating more happiness in your life from the UC Berkley Greater Good Science Center. (Click on the link if it's too small to read.) You'll notice this isn't about making external changes - it's about things you can do to help change how you are relating to life from the inside.
Is it hard for you to ask for help? Well, you’re not alone. Whether it’s asking to borrow something, for help with a task, or something more personal, like an ear and some perspective, it all seems to be difficult.
There are many reasons for this… On the one hand, we don’t want to be seen as “weak” or “needy”. On the other hand, we don’t want to risk putting someone out or being rejected. What a bind!
I read some articles before writing this post that mentioned that people will delay important tasks at work and put projects on hold for weeks, because they don’t want to ask for help. Can you think of an area in your life right now, where you are procrastinating because you don’t want to ask for help?
1. How will getting help move you towards a life you value? I recently needed a cat sitter. I have been relying on my parents, who live an hour away. Last month they couldn’t’ do it. In that moment of frustration, I finally broke through to a greater value – to be connected with my neighbors and have greater flexibility in my life. Connecting to that value was enough to get me into action.
2. What strength do you need to tap into to get the help you need? For me, I had to tap into a willingness to be open to whatever response I get. I really didn’t want to be a burden on my neighbors. When I was finally willing enough to ask… I got a surprise…
The result: People love to help and it benefits them too. I gave a 13 year old in our neighborhood her first paid gig...
She did a great job. She got a great experience, and the kitty seemed pretty darn bonded with her by the time we came back. Instead of being a burden, it was a good thing all around.
So… What are you not asking for help with that is holding you back right now? I offer a free consultation to anyone interested in coaching or counseling with me for this precise reason. I think it’s brave when people ask for help. It’s brave because you are pushing past your fear… You have had enough, and you are ready to try something new! If you are at that point, simply click here to set up a free consultation.
All the Best,
Tips and resources to help you on your path.
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